The world we live in...

A place filled with wolves- Matthew 10:16 "Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves." Matthew 10:28 "And do not fear those who kill the body but not the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."

Friday, July 26, 2013

MY GENERASI



Really job well done!

Thursday, July 4, 2013

The Long Distance...

http://youtu.be/aQgdxLRk6eY

=D

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

It's been awhile

HEY guys,

How have you all been?

I am finally back in my hometown Kuching, which is the tail of the big bear name Sarawak.

Not too sure when my last trip was, but everything still feels familiar.

The only thing I would complain about it the prices of products. I used to boast about the cheap and yummy stall food around the area, which are now tourist conning products. So I am quite disappointed, but that wont stop me from trying harder to find back the memories from childhood.

My mom used to shop around the area, and was lost easily, since she was brought up in Taiwan, and spoke little to nothing of the Malay language.

It was funny shopping with her, watching her speak Malay and saying the wrong words at the right time. She is just the classic mom I will have in my heart.

She mixes up "sini" and "ini", "situ" and "itu", good thing she knows "sibu" is not one of the "ibu"........

I love the diverse cultures in this area, yet I still see the war and strive, that the Chinese love themselves while the Malays endulge in their own riches...

Where was the peace and love I thought existed?????

It's like a family dynamic. Brother and sister, mom and daughter, grandpa and grand daughter, it's all just the "family issue" and so Malaysia has a "family issue" continuing the history from the time when the Japanese came, the time when all was lost but there was still come hope, and the reconstruction from the pits, and how we all helped each other, and now.... money killed the heart, where only the black hole lies, in wait to engulf another poor soul.


The rich feed themselves, the poor beg in vain, and I watch in all direction and wish I was blind, as my senses slowly numb, and smiling feels so foreign, as it is a sign of showing weakness and vulnerability  as I studied last year.



LOVE, what is it? Money? Fame? Or just a begger having some shelter and food to feed themself???

I wanted to love, yet was burned by the heart of terror, and here I press on the keyboard to click, and just wait for the apologies to ring. *silent* *silence* waiting to die...



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Happy Hari Gawai! =D

Sunday, June 16, 2013

The document is finished




I hopped on the car, ready for journey to the never, ending galaxy.

In a room I ended, where the power was cute

I sat patiently waiting, while they were noises and rustles.

Wait! An order, a voice so familiar.

Don’t! EAT IT! I trembled and waited for daylight

Silence…

Wind blowing…

Emptiness…

Sleep…

Woke up more relaxed and ready for another ride

But public holiday, so the motel let me stay longer

Informal, involuntarily, minor

I had no choice of my own…

Tears, sweat, blood

They meant nothing no longer

Nothing to make me live and linger

I wanted instant death then and there

Who cares about the people waiting for me to die

So what if I live and lie

But haha, everything I said was truth and true

Blindness caught them and binded them in sin

I sit and wait and slowly fade

My tempo a bit too much for the slow players

I wave, goodbye, even to close family and friends

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

A new poem written in silent tears

Miss you being near 



I miss you so
if only you were here
And I wonder if you hear
my sweet longing to just miss you

The days that you were around
We played mostly on the ground
Nor sure what my role was
when you cut yourself with glass

Where did you go?
Do you even miss me a little?
So many questions echo back
And I find myself losing track

You loved me in your own special way
Told me to buy whatever and just simply stay
But where are you when here I am
To stay where you used to talk and say

Your remains is the shiny bits
And when I talk to people who care
They love me for you showed them love
And spent your time carrying their need

I wish. I thought. I knew?
In reality my world fell through
The world that was all happy and gay
shoot arrows at me night and day

Why you left me I question the past
Did I not seek you enough till last
Or am I to follow your religion
And face the pain or your remain



I want you to see me
What I have achieved
Do you even miss be a single little bit?
Because the world lied and I was deceived

Believing your leaving I caused the grief
No matter how hard to find some relief
The world stares and point even more
and laughs at how i examine a leave

Hod me close now
HUG me tightly please I beg
Your warm little hands 
never thought me to hold pots and pans

The stuff I missed
I look forward, for the chance
To learn things that you love most
Trying to know you at all cost

People stare and they all point
Yet I act like I don't care
I am invincible and so very rare
So much much that they talk even more

Misunderstanding I hare to clear
because my way of thinking they are unclear
Looking back to all the sad stuff
I really wish you were here in the rough

Your gentle warm touch
helping me to learn to sit on the couch
I miss you so, that my heart aches
and wish you were there with cakes

I miss you so much
And wish you to be present
Down under the big brown arch
To tell you "Happy Mother's Day!" mom


張素鳴
5月1日
2013年
3AM NZ time


Saturday, May 19, 2012

"Nobody but Korea"



I entered in a really cool contest recently!  Please show your support. =D

If you don't know, there is a 3 minute video contest by the Korean Foreign Affairs  and Arirang, and you have to just share what you love about and why you love Korea. Google it! Title of the contest is "I love Korea, because..." video contest. Application closes tomorrow 20th May. Hwaitting!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's day! (I am okay)

Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Proudest Day!
It's a chilly cold Sunday,
and I'm home okay~

So don't you worry,
and don't be sorry;
Even though I'm lonely,
I still have you in me~

Just missing you,
so ever casually,
Wondering how you do,
if you miss me too.

I'm crying like a fool,
enough to fill a pool,
despite the "no crying" rule,
it's hard to keep it cool.

But don't you worry,
I'm drinking your favorite coffee,
eating the healthy toffee,
those stuff you tried to persuading me.

Oh happy day,
all these happy tears,
only this day today,
to thank you for those many years.

Happy Day~
Happy Mother's day,
I wish you were hear right now,
to see how much I've grown.

Sorry for the me,
How I used to be,
arrogantly selfish that I can't believe
and wonder how you still loved me

Your last gorgeous smile
 my last hurtful words to you,
in that short little while,
I wish it wasn't true.

Your last goodbye,
so sudden and unexpected,
I often ask why,
couldn't it have been prevented.

I try to find the many ways,
to reach you in my old days.
But I fail and fail so many times,
that this numbness made things fine.

I still long to hear your voice,
and wish I had a choice,
to let you live and know God's grace,
and the chance to see your face.

Where are you?
Do you miss us too?
Would you reply if I said "Boo"
cause that's all I can do...



I long to see you soon
Even though my world could come to ruins...
Just one hug and one kiss
under the deep blue moon.

But it seems too late,
and none can relate,
how it pains me to know that
you will never share my faith.



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Happy Mother's Day everyone!

Hope you had a splendid time celebrating this day with your mother in your own special way.

It's been almost 5 years since I last saw my mom, and it always seems like it wasnt 5 years...

So my advice to you all who still have the chance, tell your mom how much you love them, and how grateful you are for their sacrifice to make you who you are. 

Or else you might regret it like me...

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