A new poem written in silent tears

Miss you being near 

I miss you so

if only you were here

And I wonder if you hear

my sweet longing to just miss you

The days that you were around

We played mostly on the ground

Nor sure what my role was

when you cut yourself with glass

Where did you go?

Do you even miss me a little?

So many questions echo back

And I find myself losing track

You loved me in your own special way

Told me to buy whatever and just simply stay

But where are you when here I am

To stay where you used to talk and say

Your remains is the shiny bits

And when I talk to people who care

They love me for you showed them love

And spent your time carrying their need

I wish. I thought. I knew?

In reality my world fell through

The world that was all happy and gay

shoot arrows at me night and day

Why you left me I question the past

Did I not seek you enough till last

Or am I to follow your religion

And face the pain or your remain

I want you to see me

What I have achieved

Do you even miss be a single little bit?

Because the world lied and I was deceived

Believing your leaving I caused the grief

No matter how hard to find some relief

The world stares and point even more

and laughs at how i examine a leave

Hod me close now

HUG me tightly please I beg

Your warm little hands 

never thought me to hold pots and pans

The stuff I missed

I look forward, for the chance

To learn things that you love most

Trying to know you at all cost

People stare and they all point

Yet I act like I don't care

I am invincible and so very rare

So much much that they talk even more

Misunderstanding I hare to clear

because my way of thinking they are unclear

Looking back to all the sad stuff

I really wish you were here in the rough

Your gentle warm touch

helping me to learn to sit on the couch

I miss you so, that my heart aches

and wish you were there with cakes

I miss you so much

And wish you to be present

Down under the big brown arch

To tell you "Happy Mother's Day!" mom

張素鳴

5月1日

2013年

3AM NZ time

"Nobody but Korea"

I entered in a really cool contest recently!  Please show your support. =D

If you don't know, there is a 3 minute video contest by the Korean Foreign Affairs  and Arirang, and you have to just share what you love about and why you love Korea. Google it! Title of the contest is "I love Korea, because..." video contest. Application closes tomorrow 20th May. Hwaitting!

Happy Mother's day! (I am okay)

Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Proudest Day!
It's a chilly cold Sunday,
and I'm home okay~

So don't you worry,
and don't be sorry;
Even though I'm lonely,
I still have you in me~

Just missing you,
so ever casually,
Wondering how you do,
if you miss me too.

I'm crying like a fool,
enough to fill a pool,
despite the "no crying" rule,
it's hard to keep it cool.

But don't you worry,
I'm drinking your favorite coffee,
eating the healthy toffee,
those stuff you tried to persuading me.

Oh happy day,
all these happy tears,
only this day today,
to thank you for those many years.

Happy Day~
Happy Mother's day,
I wish you were hear right now,
to see how much I've grown.

Sorry for the me,
How I used to be,
arrogantly selfish that I can't believe
and wonder how you still loved me

Your last gorgeous smile
 my last hurtful words to you,
in that short little while,
I wish it wasn't true.

Your last goodbye,
so sudden and unexpected,
I often ask why,
couldn't it have been prevented.

I try to find the many ways,
to reach you in my old days.
But I fail and fail so many times,
that this numbness made things fine.

I still long to hear your voice,
and wish I had a choice,
to let you live and know God's grace,
and the chance to see your face.

Where are you?
Do you miss us too?
Would you reply if I said "Boo"
cause that's all I can do...



I long to see you soon
Even though my world could come to ruins...
Just one hug and one kiss
under the deep blue moon.

But it seems too late,
and none can relate,
how it pains me to know that
you will never share my faith.



-----------------------------------


Happy Mother's Day everyone!

Hope you had a splendid time celebrating this day with your mother in your own special way.

It's been almost 5 years since I last saw my mom, and it always seems like it wasnt 5 years...

So my advice to you all who still have the chance, tell your mom how much you love them, and how grateful you are for their sacrifice to make you who you are. 

Or else you might regret it like me...

A long poem inviting a certain you to be my friend

"Friends we shall be"

Your face caught my attention,
as it did many,
so I thought maybe
we could be friends.

Friends we became and you surprised me with yourself,
different from what I assumed,
something that made me think,
I wanna be his friend.

We love the same God,
I had no idea where you were on your walk with Him,
so it seemed a good idea,
to just be friends.

As time went by, my eyes would search for you voluntarily
in crowds, waiting, hoping, longing,
and the sound of your name,
could trigger my heart to miss a beat.

Your silent laugh, the words you speak,
sets butterflies in me,
and I find myself happier,
whenever you're around.

It was then that I realized,
I've fallen and am stuck in fear and uncertainty.
Maybe I shouldn't have wanted
this friendship to happen.

Seeing how it's often me
starting a conversation,
it should be a sign telling me
we should just be friends.

Scared that how I feel about you
is different to the way you think of me,
I convince myself everyday,
we should just be friends.

Fear of rejection, trust issues with guys,
and due to other factors,
I think either way,
we should just be friends.

Even though I wish for a hand to hold,
and envy when my friends are out on dates,
I'm not ready to step out of my single life, and so
we should just be friends.

My love for languages changed my choices in friends,
but Korean or non-Korean you are,
nothing should matter and still,
we should just be friends.

Knowing how this might just
be another empty crush like in the past,
I think to myself,
we should just be friends.

The girl you liked, where your eyes followed,
I tried being her, and made her my friend,
thinking you might notice me, and you did,
as her friend.

I don't regret cause I gained a new sister in Christ,
and grew to understand myself more,
and the hard lesson that,
we should just be friends.

A hug or a handshake from you I avoided,
for it would have been harder for me to
say it now, that
we should just be friends.

Making friends with your friends,
so that I could hang around you more,
I think your friends also would agree,
we should just be friends.

Thinking of what the future holds
maybe our paths will never link,
so obviously it should be that
we should just be friends.

You don't know who you are,
and I know you don't need to,
cause I will force myself to understand,
we should just be friends.

I don't want to go back being strangers,
and scared of being too close that
it's hard to leave one day, so
Let's just be friends.

Hello again!

And I'm back! ...after who knows how long XD haha.

didn't think second year of uni would be that time consuming, maybe because I work part-time now as well. =D

I'm on day two of my semester break. Yay! Been waiting for this day since the start of the year. *chuckles* Exam weeks felt like forever, especially when I had language papers... which meant the last of the people to go on holiday. hah. but I'm finally free XD

So I went super duper happy straight after having two hours of writing two essays and three short answers... found out I actually can write quite a bit in a pressured time limit. =D

Made some korean side dishes for dinner that night. lol. Since I've been crazy reading korean recipes from www.maangchi.com and http://aeriskitchen.com and wanting to make them... but forced myself to wait till my exams finished.



Rest Stop Potato, HyuGyeSo GamJa. It tasted like roasted potatoes, but filled with the love of butter instead



Potato JoRim, Gamja JoRim. My favorite among Korean side dishes




Potato with mushroom, gamjachae bokkeum. Except mine doesn't have mushroom XD they all went to the next dish



Eggplant, GaJi BokkEum ... yes. I swapped the eggplant bit with mushroom. and it worked =P



The Korean soybean sprout side dish, KongNaMul MuChim


My flatmate didn't mind being a guinea pig XD and I found out that it's easier to just walk down the road to a korean restaurant than making five simple side dishes... I think I took more than two hours making the meal >.< I know. I'm still a learning cook. I had to read the steps of cooking repeatedly. I bet Aeri and Maangchi would take less than half that time to finish ten dishes, and laugh at my lack of skills *hangs head*
but I still had fun ^^


I don't take credit for making the mandu(Korean dumpling) on the right, other than being the one microwaving it from the frozen packet from the handy Korean grocery next to my work ^^

Then after hours of digesting, we went for a noraebang(which means karaoke in Korean ^^) experience. Yup! just two of us. I know it's a little lack in numbers, but that didn't bother us much. Went to one down Queen street after failing to get a room in Sky since it was full T.T (I heard they always have the lastest songs. oh well. next time).


I think we spent more time of the hour in the room looking for a song to sing and listening to songs we typed in that we thought we knew but just decided to let it play than actually singing into the microphone. I know. it was a bit of pity that we didnt sing till our voices went hoarse and scared the neighboring rooms(the sound proof wasnt that good. we could hear songs from either side of our room XD)

And I still get distracted with the weird backgrounds the songs would have. Need some examples? Please refer to the super duper couple in Korea who explain most questions you would have about Korean culture in their episodes of noraebang and again noraebang(newer version). Hooza(their copyright speech expression) for that! They are totally awesome ^^




It didn't help that they had pages of chinese songs... that were quite old and I only knew less than ten... and some of the ones you always hear people sing over and over so I didn't bother singing more than two or them. And only at the last minute that I found out the korean songs I was looking for was in the middle section. Like the songs were alphabetical ordered... but how would a dummy like me know that there were two groups of them. The front ordered old songs and the middle bit with alphabetical ordered newer songs. argh. I blame the book. not my dumbness. no wonder none of the songs I picked sounded like the ones I am familiar with. But now I've learnt my lesson, and I can't wait to head to a noraebang to scream some ears death, with the help of the loud sound systems of course. I'm innocent. XD

Today is Tessa's turn to cook and dinner is calling ^^



And the menu for the night? Non-asian again!



Doesn't it look interesting? I didn't know you could add veg and ham to pancakes. It sure tasted better than just having it with golden syrup for breakfast, when they taste super duper good already!

Lantern festival 2011

So just like the previous years, I went along with the crowded as festival.


Hyde with her green HSBC balloon

But instead of going with family members or paper clippers like the previous years, it was with some student lifers. ^^



It was much crowded than I've ever experienced before, where we had to form a train at one point squeezing through the crowd for some fresh air.



the picture says it all... Albert park looked so small on the night

I blame the lion dance for forming a crowd in the middle of the street with their awesome performance and then disappear for us watchers to have to scurry through for freedom. But it was great fun. wouldn't really choose to do it again though.


They really showed Chang'e this year... that weird lady with the rabbit


And the fireworks were awesome! Can't remember if I watched any during Lantern Festival before or not, but totally loved the one I saw that day. Especially the ending. Just the best ending ever!



lanterns... the main feature of the event. but I went more for the food =P

The food wise was alright I guess. Maybe cause I just came back from the country that is filled with awesome street food till late night >.< Miss the place. The stalls were mostly Thai, Malaysian and Chinese food. There were a few Japanese stalls- takoyaki anyone? Five dollars for five? Or some pretty delicious price. And Vietnamese food, Taiwanese sausages (haha. they won't trick me into buying this year, not after being spoiled with all those sausages for free last month), and other random stalls selling stationary and drink and what nots. Lots of glowy sticks stuff.


at some booth that had info about the zodiacs. still dun get how the dragon didn't get number one in the race...

On the way back, we witnessed a stall being investigated... with heaps of security staff around it. Hyde told me that was the cool store that was selling cool asian stuff... where she got her load of Doraemon stuff XD . But the stall had quite a lot of little items (asian little items. can't have too many of them), so those were easy targets for those thieves. And there was only one store keeper. Poor lady. She must be pretty pissed. I know I would be. But good thing I never want to have a stall at Lantern Festival. save me the stress =D


I thought it was weird to have no rabbit lanterns when it's the year of the rabbit... but I didn't know Chang'e's rabbit had kids... and grandchildren...




If you've never been to a Lantern Festival before, be sure to check it out next year! i think it's worth.

But try and go with a bunch of friends you can fool around with.

Needing some coffee

So I survived a day at the flat.. alone.

But so needing a good nap or a good night's rest... if I will get that that is.

Got my things unpacked. Felt great not having bags of stuff in my room =D


Some pictures of the views from my flat that I love:


the view of the living room and the entrance to my room. teehee


hehe. it feels as if I dun have a lot of shoes with this cool rack thing


I brought a piece of Taiwan with me =D Still miss that place heaps



this is the view from my flat. Yay!



view from the living room


At 11pm, I thought that it will just feel as if I am in Taiwan, with all the busy noises downstairs.

But I was wrong.

Well I remember Taiwan being shout-free at midnight.

...

and there weren't weird noises when everything on the street finally died down.

I wonder how the homeless people get rest. There is a guy that stays in front of the doorway next to our flat.

So whatever I experience... he experiences worse.

After falling asleep and waking up for the nth time... I got up to look at what sounded like construction being done... at 4 in the morning.

And what I see were these weird vehicle driving around...


the worse is that there's two of them (if you can't tell it's the things with yellow lights on it)


Argh! Just having one of them sounds like ten vacuum cleaners on at once... with people chucking metal around the place... so you can imagine how terrifying two of them together would be. No idea what they do... but they better not do it every night or I am so not gonna lose my panda make up >.<

Here's a video of them in action. It gets louder towards the end and you can experience a little of what I did at the last few seconds. The diff is I had tons of minutes of that loud annoying sound.

(If you can't view the video, it might mean that you're not reading this on my blog - http://kumaramash.blogspot.com/2011/02/needing-some-coffee.html )

Oh the joy of flatting on Queen st.